Our final meeting. =(

Was rewarding. I've heard negative things about coed friendships, things like "They always end in a crush," or "In a relationship." Not true. I have seen and been a part of coed friendships. Heck my best friend is a guy. He has helped me through so much. One of the girls in the class brought one of her guy friends from high school who was interested in Fox. He brought up a valid point. He said girls were an emotional support, because guys wouldn't provide that. Guys don't make their feelings known because apparently it isn't manly. However most girls emotionally support each other, and so they are like that when the opportunity presents itself with guys. But sometimes it can also be a curse. My best friend likes to handle his problems alone, so it can be hard for me to understand it.

But at the same time, he understands me. He understands my need for companionship and that I need to talk it out when I am uber upset. And he feels no shame in doing so. As we pointed out, Adam needed Eve. If men didn't need to draw some kind of relationship with women, why was Eve even created? Out of all things, created from a man's rib! We spiritually provide for each other, and use our differences in gender to do so.

Besides, I'm a bit of a tomboy. I swear most of my friends are guys!!! I shall miss you WITB people and class!

Not so angry conversations with a book club

I could not put this book down. I felt an almost immediate attraction to the main character attracted as in she was relatable to my own experience. Not only that, the idea that she went to couples therapy with God seemed silly but interesting at the same time. My only problems: Rudy’s role, Susan’s interpretation of God, Jesus as wimpy and the idea of God leaving her. Even after talking about it, I don’t see what role he really played. I agreed he was a good kind of counselor, one that listened and gave his opinion with the option to take it with a grain of salt. But, he couldn’t hear God speak in Susan, and even if she told him, it just feels strange. I would guess he would be mediating between them. Just seems odd.

As for Susan’s interpretations of the trinity, God is sarcastic, and Jesus is “wimpy”. I didn’t see Jesus as wimpy from what I read, I pictured Him like I do in real life. Gentle, strong, and loving. Not that God isn’t also like that, but Jesus was sent down to save us from sin, and to be a guide, sharing and showing God’s grace. Then again I am not Susan. I just really didn’t like the sarcastic God. I mean, sure, He has sarcasm because we got all His qualities (but not divine qualities), but I never took Him to be that sarcastic. But then again, as we discussed in the book club, people with troublesome fathers tend to associate their qualities with God. Her father cussed and thought down on himself and his situation. It made living for Susan hard. What I also don’t understand is why God “left” her. I get that He wasn’t happy with the choices she made, and how she saw Him and His Son. But it’s just weird.

I know He leaves us, but He doesn’t actually leave us. And if He does, I feel like it is not that long. I can’t help thinking that even though she wanted Him to say, not to be rude, but she didn’t desire it hard enough. I also would think that her opinion of Him, though I may not be God or Jesus, seemed like a silly reason to leave her. . I know there have been days I haven’t heard His voice, but it was for my own good. God can do all, but we have work to do as well. That is why He doesn’t do everything for us. If He didn’t, we wouldn’t learn our lesson. Life would be easy, and we wouldn’t need Him after a while.

But what drew me to this book was not only interested in her journey, but how much alike we where, despite the differences in our situations. I noticed this during our book club. We both have not liked who we were. We both were looking for a church that didn’t condemn, feels like home and that was spiritually uplifting. We both like to act. We both felt relationships with men would boost our confidence. We both have had disease ruin our lives. It was a positive and negative experience for me. Negative because I had come to a realization of what I didn’t like with myself and struggle with. It was positive because I knew what I needed to change. It, like Susan, has been a long and rough road. Unfortunately I feel I haven’t gotten far. I just recently sunk into Depression, which for so long I have been trying to avoid. I never saw myself as pretty, I sometimes still think I’m fat. True I didn’t become bulimic like she did, but it was comforting to know I wasn’t alone.

Wedding Bells

Marriage is such an interesting topic to me. So many people have views and opinions on it, even those who haven't experienced it yet. People can talk for days, weeks, or dedicate their careers to studying the construct of a man and a woman becoming one. Personally, I enjoy how talked about marriage is and I think it's important. Class on Monday was very intriguing to me, being able to hear about the marriage of two people I respect as well as two people I didn't know.
Our talk on Ephesians 5 was great, it was a topic I really wanted to learn about and am glad we got to cover it. I again am perplexed how the dominant translation in our culture is no what was originally intended, but the only way to change that is to do what I can to help people find the true meaning of the text.
Stephanie and Rusty's marriage is one that I trust and respect. Sure, they are not perfect, but I don't think there is such a thing, which makes marriage so great (speaking as if I know, which I don't, I'm not married). Through their sharing though, I could sense the true love and true respect they had for each other. They knew each others strengths and weaknesses, yet they didn't condemn their weaknesses but instead uplifted, honored, learned from and enjoyed each others strengths while keeping in mind the weaknesses. Neither seemed dominant in the household, but instead they were in sink with each other, truly becoming one.
Marriage is something that I can't wait to be a part of. I'm not trying to rush it and have all the patience in the world, but I do think God has instilled a certain passion to be married and I can't wait to carry that passion out. In the mean time, I'll sit back and learn from others experiences!

The Princess Complex

Two weeks ago, we studied gender roles. What makes a Christian man, what makes a Christian woman. We were also challenged. There were many different eye opening answers and questions that made us think. I was surprised how many shared my opinions. There were so many different ones at the same time, ones that I wish I knew where the reasoning came from.

I don't know whether or not to read Captivated and Wild at Heart. In class, I was not liking the idea, but reading the others' blogs, maybe...

And as for the wanting Prince charming, I fit that Princess Complex, I want to find that, but also, that's a fairytale. I watched too much Disney growing up... hahaha.

Love and Marriage

The first thing I would like to discuss from last class is the video we watched. I felt like the couple didn't answer the question, they just went around it. I also wasn't satisfied that he said if he stayed at home, the kids would be different. That is quite true, but what does that have to do if a dad should or should not be stay-at-home dad?

Also, I feel blessed that the two married couples came and shared their experiences. It was uplifting to know that they respected each other, and it didn't seem like the women were the stereotypical domestic slaves in the kitchen. The thing that struck me most is that you need to be confident in yourself before you can be in a real relationship. I've always struggled with that. It's hard after many years of it. Everyone keeps bringing that up, and it's good cause that would be a benefit when I'm more confident, depressing because I've been that way all my life. And true, you should be confident before the relationship, not having it make you completely confident. But yet, when you find someone, you should be allowed to be more confident because you were able to find love. And sometimes it takes two special people to compliment each other.

Unique Opportunities.

Last nights class was so great! I love hearing stories from people who have journeyed farther in life than I have myself. Through hearing from Abby and Michael, and Rusty and Stephanie I have learned a lot of things about what marriage will look like and even more about what it will not. My favorite aspect that I took away from the discussion was that each relationship is unique and that there is no perfect formula that will yield an amazing relationship. Every person is different and when combined there are multiple different directions their lives could go in. I have found through this activity that there are a few aspects of the relationships modeled before me that I want in my own relationship but also others that I know I do not want present in my future relationship. If there was an egalitarian/hierarchical spectrum I think I would be closer to the middle but on the egalitarian side for sure. I think that making decisions together is so important, and also realizing that you are weak in some areas that your partner will be stronger in then using them to help in those situations. Working out of your weaknesses and strengths together and growing together is what makes the relationship so beautiful and amazing. I am in awe of how much Christ can be shown through relationships and that by showing grace we are being Jesus to the person. I can not wait until I have the opportunity to grow significantly in this specific way through relationship but at the same time I understand that if I am faithful and loving to those around me now God will bless me by giving me even more in the future to be faithful with and loving to.

Girl Meets God

Book Club: Girl Meets God
How do you connect with this particular spiritual journey? What about your own spiritual journey is similar and different?

Her spiritual journey was a story that I was able to connect with on a variety of levels, but I think the over all take away message was something I connected with the most. I viewed her journey as trying to find her faith on her own, while at the same time using the influences of a majority of people around her to help her on her journey. That’s how my journey has been, with spirituality as well as life. I remember my parents being baptized, so I haven’t been raised in a Christian family my whole life. Due to that, my parents are on their own journey with God, while at the same time leading me. Honestly, I’ve watched them go up and down a lot in their faith, something that has bugged me growing up and still does. The point I’m getting at though is that I’ve had to go through this journey without solid people in faith to guide me. She had to go through this without the support of her parents, something that is different than me, but her journey consisted of various people inputting various ideas to get her to the point of where she is. I’ve moved a lot, connected with a lot of theology from a lot of people, some I agree with, some I don’t. I’ve seen a lot of things in church I agree with, a lot I don’t. Through it all, I am thankful that I had those experiences, just as she is.

What surprised you?
I was surprised by how much hurt she experienced from a Jewish perspective by the Christian church. Reading how much silent hates just expressed to the Jewish population is something that never crossed my mind. The story of the Crucifixion for example, as any Jewish child watches the story will go away knowing that he or she is the bad person. That is something that never crossed my mind. Being a Christian, I try to be as welcoming as possible, really loving everyone I come in contact with. How do Jew’s feel when they come to a Christian church? It’s a question that I will wrestle with.

What are some ways that the author’s gender influenced her story?
A lot of her story was about experiences, experiences in which she was a girl (and still is a girl). With that, I am not sure if I can fully understand how her gender influenced her story since I don’t share those experiences from a girl perspective. I honestly am not sure how her gender influenced her, but I know it did.

In what ways did this book expand or deepen your understand of God?
This book is something that goes along with me in my journey, which is how it has expanded my understanding of God, as it gets expanded everyday by a variety of reasons. One of the major things that have stuck in my mind is the idea of emotions and feelings on earth. There is a part in her book in which she discusses emotions on earth and it hit me, how much more will there be emotions in Heaven! Think of the good emotions in life and how much I desire those. Think how good and rich they feel! Now I think about Heaven and how much more those good emotions will feel! Ugh, I can’t wait.

What conclusions of the author’s do you tend to disagree with?
I’m not sure if I necessarily disagree with anything she wrote. It’s hard to disagree with someone’s experience and feelings, which is what a lot of the book was focused on. Her experiences do get at some points, a lot of points in which I agree with. Some questions I am left with are: How do Christians welcome others/how does the Church welcome others? What does it mean to accept Christi? Is it a one-minute decision or a life long journey? How does the church treat the Old Testament? What does the church do with the Old Testament?

In summary, I thought the book was really enjoyable. I loved reading about the different experiences she went through to get her to the point she is currently at. I’m a sucker for stories, which makes me a sucker for this book. She left me with encouragement, as well as questions that I will continue to wrestle with.

Marriage Night

I feel like I am finally beginning to grapple with what I think about complementarian vs. egalitarian relationship and marriage. I'm beginning to separate preference from actual belief. These are big issues and tough issues to deal with because people feel so emotionally attached to them and there has been a sense this entire semester that both sides are desperate for the other side to agree with them - so much so that the issue is no longer a matter of living out the gospel, but an issue of personal satisfaction and gratification (wanting the other side to admit that they are wrong). And frankly, that turns me off.

Let me expound on that a little more. Tonight when we talked about whether or not the complementarian vs. egalitarian issue was an "all or nothing" issue or whether it was an issue on a continuum. There are very few things in life that are all or nothing. And even fewer things that deal with sinful, fallen human beings are all or nothing. We are much more complicated than that - life is full of complexity and nuance, and how we approach relationship and marriage is part of that. To say that we are either completely egalitarian or completely complementarian doesn't allow room for growth or development. Ironically, it puts people (usually the people who are irate over being put in a box) into boxes. We are doing ourselves a disservice if we make the issue black and white.

To Captivate a Wild Heart

*Special entry note* From my experience with Wild at Heart, the message I took from the book as well as the message I think John was trying to get at over all was not so much just boxing in men, but to explain that men want adventure and there is a GIANT fight waiting to be fought, which is the one with the Devil. After reading the book in whole, I had a feeling of encouragement and power to really engage in my fight with the Devil, fighting with all I could, for myself as well as for all those around me. Overall, I think Wild at Heart got a bad rap in class as many people hadn't read the whole book and missed the bigger picture John was getting at.

The general guidance of our class this week stemmed around the Eldridge family books, Wild at Heart and Captivating. As both books tried to get at the heart of each gender (men and women if you were confused.. insert laugh), I think the books got at something deeper without realizing it. I'd make a case that it's not just men who want adventure, but women also. I'd make a case that it's not just women who want to be swept off their feet, but men also. As I've read each book, I finish them and completely agree. But that's what gets me, I finished Captivating and thought to myself, "Yeah! That does describe me!" Then I closed the book, saw the cover, and thought, "Crap. I'm a boy. This is a girl book."

I do think there are a lot of differences between men and women, differences that aren't supposed to be pointed out and condemned, but differences that should be celebrated. With that said however, there is a lot of similarites. Both want to be loved. Loved by God and loved by humans. Maybe even a dog also. Both want adventure. I've never meet a girl/woman who has lived a content life doing nothing. Risk, fear, a vision, all concepts that are engraved into humans. To be honest, if a girl brought me flowers home randomly one day, I'd be in love. Not so much because of my love for flowers (I do like them, just there's a lot of them. It's a sensory overload), but to see that someone cares for me and loves me. I think that would be great!

Overall, I really enjoyed Monday's class and can't wait for next Monday.

No perfect equation

This week in class I was challenged to begin thinking further how gender roles are present in my daily life. It is the truth that everyday there is something that is dominated by the presence of gender role specificity. In class we analyzed the books written by the Eldredge's, Wild at Heart and Captivating. I can tell you honestly that both books are held on my family's book shelf int he family room and I have never thought deeply about this meaning until this weeks class. I feel as that these two books give me A. something to strive to become more like, a goal to work towards and B. a better understanding of what life is like for a man. But after this week I have begun to read them much critically than ever before. I have realized these books are not the depiction of every man or woman that each person has a different story and thus a different set of feelings. Not every person is going to fit the mold of what these books cast. Even though I feel as if I can relate to the books in many ways that does not mean that they are a check list of who I should become as a woman. They can be a way to gain advice or something to use as a guide but by no means a list of how to become the perfect wife-like candidate. One thing that bothers me is that people are criticizing these books very harshly and can often times push people who do fit the population that the books speak of into feeling that they are wrong. This is awful and should by no means be happening at all. We should not be telling anyone that they are wrong in the way of their feelings, who are we to do this. There will be people who fit these molds set forth by the book then those who don't. No matter which you are you do not need to persuade that other that they are wrong or that they should be on your side. Each person was made unique and in the image of God so who are we to tell them that they should be more like us. There is not a set equation that will give the answer of a perfect man or woman because it is different for each person. Thus, we should let people who fit the gender role stereotypes live in that way and for those who feel confined or constricted by them live your own way. You are free to make your own decisions and decide on your own how to live your life.

Weekly thoughts...

I've read both Captivating and Wild at Heart before, but under very different circumstances, through a very different lens and with a quite different heart. I think there are certainly elements of truth in both books - valuable points that should be thoughtfully processed. That being said, I would never base a bible study, especially a bible study for people just beginning their study of gender roles, on these books. The reason for that being that books deceivingly simplify a complex issue

I enjoyed tonight because we're finally getting to the application part of the past 10+ weeks. That being said, we threw around a lot of ideas and opinions, but didn't draw a lot of conclusions. Perhaps that was the point, but I felt unsatisfied...perhaps by my own confusion and indecisiveness. I'm looking forward to developing the ideas we tossed around tonight over these last few weeks and seeing where they may go. I've tried to start my final paper but I still don't know how to answer some of these questions...so I think I'm going to wait a little while and listen to class discussion before diving into a personal, working theology.

Different stories same author

Last week in class we heard from a few more women as they shared their stories with us. It was so interesting to see how each woman had a different story but also to see how they all related to each other at the same time. Despite their stories differences they all had the hand of God present within them. It was evident that even if they went through different struggles or places in life or held different jobs or occupations that God used and met them exactly where they were. I am absolutely amazed by the power of our God and how he is just so wonderful and intimate with each person. I am continually being blown away by the greatness of just how big our God truly is. Each woman that shared had a completely different story but each of them talked about how they began to really see the unequal opportunities based on gender after leaving their homes. Even though they traveled different distances they each saw the inequality and felt saddened by this treatment. It was interesting to me that it took leaving their own community and joining another to realize that their home community had it all wrong. But it is so true that until you leave your normal routine and the social norms of your home community you won't be able to understand that there are other ways of doing things. It wasn't until coming to college that I realized a great deal of things about my home town, and my home church that I grew up in. But just as much as you can see what your own community is doing wrong you can also see what they are doing right. I never really had a great appreciation for many things that I grew up with in my everyday life but after leaving all those things behind I have grown to appreciate them so much more whenever I get the chance to go home and enjoy them again. I hope that sometime soon in my own life I will be able to experience another culture so that I too can really get a new view of what my community is lacking and also doing well.

Let's listen to some more stories

Another round of listening to women's personal stories this week brought some new thoughts and perspectives to the attention of my mind. Becky and Jere are two people I really love and respect, as well as have be able to get to know on a personal basis. Monday night though allowed me to get to know them even more as they shared some personal experiences that have really affected who they are.
Becky's story was really impactful to me, as she described the hard times she has faced with the church. I connect with her hurt feelings, as honestly the church has hurt my family and I in different ways, but evoked the same type of response as it evoked in Becky. It's part of the reason I want to join the administration side of a church, to help prevent those feelings of hurt coming from a church. Instead, encouraging positive feelings to those who are part of the body is something I feel really passionate about. I really admire Becky's heart and passion for God, as well as her determination to continue with the calling God has given her in the capacity that man allows her to fulfill. I heard in her words a sense of determination, mixed with hurt, that I admire.
Jere was terrific, but I wanted to share some thoughts I had after listening to the last person speak. She mentioned a lot about the differences between men and women, something different than the main core of anything I have heard in this class so far. I've heard a lot about how men and women are equal and can do the same things, but she pointed out differences. If there are differences, which I agree there are, it's the beauty of God's Creation, how do those differences affect women in society and in the church? Should they? Or should they be ignored?

Living the life of the future today.

Shauna Niequest speaks honestly and from the heart in her book, “Bitterweet”. I enjoyed reading this book greatly, she had such great ideas and insight into everyday situations. It is great to read stories about real life and how hard times can be, but it is even better to see how she handles the situations in ways that are glorifying to God. This story of Shauna’s life has brought courage, confidence, and light to my life, I now know that if will not always be a fairytale and that you will have to work at the things in life that really matter.

I personally have not gone through many of the things that Shauna talks about in her book because they are mostly about life after college and being married. But it is so interesting to hear about and to better understand what it means to live a life that doesn’t include homework. It brought so much light to the situation for me, that life really will not get easier after school, that other things come up that are just as much work and if not even more work. But that the work is worth whatever you are striving for in the end whether it be a better relationship with your spouse, spiritual life, or everyday tasks. Some parts of Shauna’s journey were similar to mine in that I hope to do many of the things that she has done in her life. One story in particular stuck out to me, it was about staying in contact with her girlfriends from college and how they made the effort to spend a weekend away together intentionally spending time together. I pray that when I graduate from college that my friends and I will follow the model that these ladies have set before us. I hope that one day when we all have little children like Shauna and her girls that we too will bring them and share life together just like the old times. This is so important to me because these relationships we are forming in college are so tight, deep, and truly special that if I had to give them up after graduating I would be devastated. Yes, there will be many people that we will loose contact with but the ones who truly were there and that we made deep connections with will share in the commitment to continue a relationship later in life.

Being a woman influenced Shauna’s writing in many ways, mostly through her life experiences. She spoke a lot about being a mother and wife. These experiences and positions that she chose to be and was also asked to be shaped her into the women she is and also what her everyday looked like. She painted the picture of what real life looks like to be married and to have a child while also balancing sanity. Shauna also talked many times about her struggles which included many instances which only women can face such as; miscarriage, being a wife, and the desire to compare herself to other women her age different than herself. It was interesting for me to gain insight into an older woman’s life and see what it is truly like for her. To see that she too struggles with things and that these struggles will not go away any time soon for me. This opens my eyes to see that I need to stop ignoring them or waiting for them to go away because they really aren’t going to. I need to find a way to get a handle on my struggles so that I can learn ways to become better and not be as susceptible to falling into the same traps again and again throughout my life’s journey.

I would recommend this book to other women, or girls who want to gain insight into real life. To see what it means for a woman and how even the simplest things can become a struggle. Shauna illustrates that despite these daily trials it is possible to persevere and live a life that brings glory to God and love to those around her. This is a lesson that every person needs to learn. We all could use a story that shows us how to live in this way and how it can help get us through the hard times. If we turn to Jesus in our times of hardships then He will help us through them. My favorite part of this story is just the inspiration that it gives me to live my life today, and not live for the future. Yes, I need to prepare myself for the woman, wife, and mother that I will become later in my life but I should begin to live my life as if I were coming closer to that woman with every decision that I make. That I would be happy with the decisions that I am making right now if I looked back to this time in my life. I am so thankful for great role models such as Shauna who can bring light to what living life should truly look like for a woman of God.

Patriarchs and hierachies

This last class, Sarah brought in three female speakers to share their spiritual journey as women. I greatly enjoyed this. They each taught me and inspired me, moved me.

Discrimination. Big word. Becky used it. I haven't really used discrimination and women in the same sentence before. Interesting. I can't describe more than that.

Their testimonies reminded me how hard it was to be a woman in a man's world. One of them, Beth, was actually a electrician, usually a man's job, cool!

I hope their journeys continue to inspire many women to come, and maybe some men too!

Wonderful women, inspiring stories!

The part of the class I've enjoyed the most thus far has been all the amazing personal stories we've been able to listen to. Each of them is so unique, so personal, so clear in that God's redemptive story works itself out in an individual way through each of us. That's a hopeful and affirming thought...it's good to be different...and it's good to be the same.

Anyway, there were a few things that really struck a chord with me tonight. The first was Jere said that she hadn't felt acute discrimination, even though it was there. That's how I feel, too. And I feel like this class and some of the conversations I've had a result of it have encouraged me to feel discriminated. And I don't think that's right. I have grown up in a patriarchal home and I've never felt limited. The buck stops with Dad at the Fakkema house, but he is the first to affirm women in ministry and leaderships roles; he would never tell me I couldn't do something.

Another thing that Jere said that made lots of sense to me was that the Holy Spirit is the "mom" of the trinity. For some reason, I don't know why, I have always thought of Jesus as a male, God as a Father, and the Holy Spirit as an "it." Because how can you put a spirit into a gender box...but when I start thinking about it that way, thinking of God as a male is the same thing. However, when I pray the Lord's prayer, I am praying to God the Father Almighty. So until that changes, I'm comfortable relating to God as a man. If somebody else wants to think of God as neither male nor female or as female, I'm fine with that, too. But when I pray, I'm praying to a Father.

Women Interview!

I had a conversation with a family friend Janette Woodard. She has been my best friend’s mom for all of his life (☺) so I have known her for many years. She has been a Christian for a large majority of her life and as long as I have known her. She mentioned that her parents have been Christian her whole life, but she considers that she started her walk with Christ around nine years old, once she was able to comprehend. Her church background consists of her attending a small-medium sized church (200ish people) her whole life in Salem, Oregon. It’s an Assembly of God denomination outside of the city.
She described her faith as a roller coast journey, one that doesn’t bring you back to the start, yet gives you plenty of opportunities to get off, but really only remembering the high points. It’s a dualistic ride, one that is extremely fast yet in the moment it’s like watching a slug. Specifics weren’t discussed in our time, but she briefly mentioned high points that caused her to view God in ways she never imagined, yet with low points that specific thoughts have been forgotten yet the lessons have stuck with her.
I was interested in her journey with Christ, but to be honest I was more interested in her journey with the Church, as she is a women and this class is about women. So that is what we discussed for a large part of our conversation. Janette knows that God doesn’t ‘view’ men any different then women, besides the differences that God created between them on a completely equal way, but she has noticed that over time the Church has viewed women differently. Her experience has been that her church has had men be in charge of the major decisions, while the women have been the ones making everything go. It’s the women that have been involved in child care, it’s the women who have been involved in the cooking for potlucks, and it’s been the women who have put together the music for the congregation. Her experienced has showed the men are the ones that do the spiritual teaching when it comes to the congregation as a whole, whether it be the Sunday Services or the small group Bible studies. The only teaching women have done is the small group women Bible studies, which meets every Thursday morning, as a woman leads that group.
Her perspective about this is that this happens because you sure don’t want the men taking care of the kids or cooking the food because then no one would enjoy themselves! She was joking, but I caught a bit of truth in her joke. It has been common for a long time that men don’t know how to cook or properly take care of children, where women have for a long time. On a serious note, she mentioned she doesn’t necessarily feel limited, because she doesn’t need a stage to teach, she can communicate with others in a variety of other ways, but it is interesting to her that there hasn’t been a woman leader in her experience. She argued that just because men have had the microphone doesn’t mean that women aren’t heard. It is common for people in her church to reach out to women for help, as they are known for the listening ability as well as their wisdom. She has had a large number of people come up to her for advice and she has been able to ‘preach’ to them in that manner. I asked her if she would want a microphone and she said no, she doesn’t want her persona to be one of power and influence, more of the natural influence that she has now. She mentioned that she could imagine there being women though wanting the microphone, feeling the calling to be on stage and preach in that manner. That possibility is completely alright with her and she encourages though who feel that passion, yet knows that it is a big issue in the Church.
There was a lot we discussed, too much to include in this paper, but the general sense I had from the conversation is that she is perfectly content in her role in her church, yet recognizes other women may not be as content as she is. She recognizes male dominance in the Church, but in a way laughs at them as she thinks the real influence is what happens outside of a service, through personal communication and worship together. That is where she feels the important stuff happens.

The race of life

I believe that we as the younger generation of the church have much to learn from the older, more spiritually wise men and women in the church family. It is important to listen to what they have to say and what they have gone through because a lifetime serving Christ looks differently for each person and in a lifetime there is a lot to have been learned. In order to get a better perspective of what it is like for a woman in the church older than myself I interviewed my mom about what her experience has been like in the church. Because I did question my mom, I know a lot of background that surround the questions and can understand better the situations she describes as spiritual experiences and such because I was there with her through most of it.

My mom described her current spiritual journey as strong with times of weakness but always knowing that Jesus will show her new ways to grow and will answer her doubts in time as well. This is so true in almost everyone’s life I think even if they admit it or not. Everyone is going to experience times of highs and lows but part of having faith is knowing that despite where you are in your life you will be held up by the love of Christ. This is what pushes me through hard times and makes me want to become a better person each day as well.

When I began to ask my mom about how she became a Christian and how faith found her she laughed a little looking back at the memories of how she came to know Christ as her Savior. My mom was not raised in a Christian home many of her family members were alcoholics and spent their time smoking and drinking rather than showing their children the way in which they should live their lives. Despite this upbringing my mom never fell into the trap of alcohol and was brought to church by one of her friends in high school who herself was struggling from brain cancer. After the service they prayed for here friend to be healed and a week later she was miraculously cancer free! After seeing this my mom could not stay away form a God who had such compassion that he would help a suffering girl in her time of need. She knew she was missing out on a great relationship with a caring and compassionate God. So a few weeks later my mom went back to that church with her friend and came into contact with church members who were rude and many people who spoke in tongues. This was a huge turning point for her she was scared and angered that people who would serve this great God would be so rude and she was just scared of the speaking in tongues all together so she stopped going to church all together. It wasn’t until she met my dad that she returned to her interest and finally decided to live her life for Christ. Since this time my parents have obviously married and had my brother and I. There have been many struggles for our family and times that have stretched my mom’s faith and made it stronger as well but all of these experiences have only reaffirmed her desire to live a life of faith.

After we spoke about her life experiences with faith and Christianity I asked her what she thought about men and women and their differences in the church. Also I asked her about her opinion of women in leadership positions in the church. She first spoke about how men were created in the image of god and women was created in the image of man so thus they will be different. She also talked about how women are not less spiritual just created differently than men. She believes that if Eve hadn’t made the decisions that she had someone else would have come around to make that same mistake and we would still be in the same place we are today. According to her beliefs this was all a part of God’s plan and that no matter who it was making the mistake it would have been done and we would still have been in this same place of living in sin daily. As far as women in leadership go my mom believes that women should not be head or lead pastors in the church. She is fully supportive of women being involved in the church, she is the worship leader at our church at home and there is no problem with women speaking their opinions or having a voice in the church, she thinks it is important that they do. At our church we have men in leadership roles and they are especially careful to respect and listen to the voices and needs of the women in the church. This creates an environment that everyone feels heard and that follows biblical truths. Her perspective is probably a lot of the reason why I came into this class thinking the same way as her. I thought this way exactly but now having been informed of so much and looking deeper into what the passages are truly saying I am in a grey area. I don’t really know what the right or correct answer is to this question. But I do know that if I continue to seek advice from those older and with more life experience than me and also seek God’s will through His word I will eventually find a level of understanding. I will not ever understand completely but will know more of what God’s will for this subject is. Overall, I am so grateful to have people in my life that I can look to for answers and opinions that have been running the race of life a bit longer than myself and know the course better than me. It is comforting to know that at my age I do not have to have the answer to every question but that I should be searching relentlessly until I come to a place that is closer to the answer than when I began the race.

It's a Journey...

I talked to my Oma (dutch for Grandma) today about her spiritual journey and I was so glad that I did :) She grew up in the worst part of Seattle in a horrible house with a mother who pretended she wasn't there...except when she needed chores done or a babysitter. Her first experience with Jesus was as a preschooler. She was riding her tricycle on the sidewalk outside the apartment building when the pastor of the missions church that met downstairs invited her to Sunday School. She accepted and attended off and on for years. As a teenager, God brought a Christian family into her life that paid for her to go to a Christian school for a year and in eighth grade she dedicated her life to Jesus. The Orthodox Presbyterian church she attended disbanded but the pastor recommended she try the Christian Reformed church because it was the most doctrinally similar. So she did and met my Opa (dutch for Grandpa) in the process. A bonus of marrying my Opa was his wonderful family and the first real "mom" she'd ever had. Her first "milestone" was when her mother-in-law died. She'd been an amazing spiritual mentor to Oma. The second "milestone" came shortly after (and wouldn't have happened had great-grandma not died) when Oma and Opa packed up their three little boys (all 6 and under) and move across the country to New York. For the first time they had to find their own church, make their own friends, and figure out their family faith on their own.

My Oma lives by a simple motto: J-O-Y. Jesus, others, yourself. I've always known it because she really does live it. She and Opa have it down - if you come to family dinner, there are always widows and orphans and the door is always open. Oma said that,at this point in her walk, she feels confident that Jesus comes first (not that's she's perfect, but that He is routinely the first priority). And now the hard part is putting others in front of herself - especially when it involves giving up family opportunities to serve somewhere else.

My Oma is extremely reformed and extremely conservative. Our denomination has a very open attitude towards women in leadership - women can be pastors. Oma thinks they are too lenient. She thinks that men and women are equal in God's eyes - that he loves us the same and salvation is the same for both - but she does believe we have been created for different (not better or worse or less or more) roles. She does concede that she's not sure where the line should be drawn for women in leadership and she understands the role that the Fall played in the flawed gender relationships. When I asked her about her image of God, she said he was definitely a man. This was her response, "When I pray the Lord's prayer and I pray 'My Father who art in Heaven...' I am praying to a He...not a unisex spirit." And while I think she may have been a little sassy, she's got a point. I've certainly always thought of God as a man and it's never felt like a hindrance to my spiritual life, but that's also the culture in which I've been raised. It is hard for Oma to reconcile a relational headship (in which she firmly believes) with women in leadership roles in the church. She views the church as Christ's bride in the most traditional way. In her family the "Buck Stops Here" role is absolutely Opa's - and that's biblical. She think that women in leadership take away jobs that men need to do - we step in and take control way more often than we should.

Coming from a very successful woman (she has a graduate degree and has been a principal, school district superintendent, and had various other administrative roles), I have to stop and consider what she says. When I asked Oma if she'd ever felt limited in her church experience she laughed and said, "No! I've always felt that I've been allowed to do too much!"

Getting into the Habit

Mother Teresa, we've all heard the name but not many of us know her journey or story. Indeed she was called to help fight poverty, but the path to getting there was tough. For example, the Church didn't like the idea of community houses in that area made by their church. They even removed her from the convent. It took much convincing and a blessing from the Archbishop for Mother Teresa to be able to be an independent nun. I find it interesting that the church was against her going to serve independently in the community. Wouldn’t they be excited to have her serve to the needy? Isn’t that what God asks us to do? I also ponder why she was the only one who wanted to do it at first. Were there no other nuns eager to get out and help the community? I guess they must have seen how hard it was for Mother Teresa to get permission. That or they were comfortable at the abbey and wanted to serve from there. She even traded her nun habit for a white sari and sandals, a traditional wear for Indian women!

Another thing I found interesting is where Mother Teresa went when she started the path to being a nun. She traveled to Ireland to join the Sisters of Loreto. She didn’t know their language and they didn’t know a whole lot of her native language either. Yet she made it through and befriended many of the nuns. I wonder what they did to communicate when there were language barriers. Not only that, how did Mother Teresa come to know the many different languages. She knew her native one, had to learn English and whatever language the Indian people spoke, and possibly other languages as well. How does one woman do it all?

Not to mention, she spent quite some time with the poor. She always seemed gentle, enduring, and followed God’s will. That takes a lot of guts and a lot of strength. When I did the research for my presentation on her, I didn’t really see much of her struggles as I read her journey of reaching out. It can’t have gone that smoothly. Yes God was with her, but everyone has times where they struggle through many things, whether big or small. But it could be we want to remember Mother Teresa for the good she did. I feel that it is necessary to know what she went through to in order to do those great things. That shows her strength, and the truth that all things worth fighting for aren’t easy. Nothing is easy.

Did she ever get their sickness? Were there more obstacles she had to face with the church? Were there times even the faithful Mother Teresa doubted God and gave into her fears? I also wonder what Mother Teresa’s family thought of her going to Ireland and being a nun. Did she keep in touch with them? Or vice versa? She probably never saw them since she left. But did they know all the things she did? Did they miss her? I wonder how important she was to her family, or how important she was to them? I’m guessing Mother Teresa, as a woman of faith, cared for her family. That would be another roadblock for people wanting to follow those kinds of paths. Not getting to see or hear from their loved ones. I personally couldn’t do that.

However many questions I have, there is no denying Mother Teresa reached out to many people, not just those of her church, convent, or the poor, but even those who’ve never met her, or don’t even live where she did. For someone to make that kind of change is remarkable and admirable. Though she may not seem to for most of those who know me, I look up to her and draw inspiration from her. I had heard about her, but little about her journey and what she did, hence why I chose to write about her!

All these other women my group talked about were also brave and extraordinary. They went through many obstacles and made many sacrifices for their faith and God’s calling for them. I admire them for that. I wish I had as much courage and strength to do the things they did. Sometimes they even took on the roles men would normally take. Most admire them because they feel that they can’t do it themselves. Yes, God wants us to serve, but there are different ways to do so. Whatever it is, we must face it, fully relying on God.

Personal Experience

In last weeks class it was very interesting to hear the different stories of the four women who participated in the panel discussion. They each had such a unique experience and life story from each other and it was cool to see how they participated in the church despite the constrictions of gender roles in churches. Hearing the stories of hardships that the women each had to go through in order to follow what their calling was made me question what it would have looked like if they had been a part of my home church. I remember growing up in my little hometown church and never really seeing a women preach except when we went to children's church or if the one women pastor was speaking at the town Christmas service. Looking back on this experience now I am very curious if it was just the situation or circumstances or that they were intentionally keeping women from being in pastoral roles. I have absolutely no idea which is was or why, but it has lead me to ask many questions of my church's denomination as a whole and has also begun a great discussion within my own family. My parents have been attending this church for twenty years now and are very involved so hearing their perspective is also really interesting and eye opening. I enjoyed this panel so much because it really stirred thinking in me about what my church experience was like growing up and what I wanted my future church to look like when I have a family of my own.

Amazing women, crazy implications

Tonight was amazing. I loved listening to the stories of women who overcame people and ideas and boundaries...but I'm still struggling. I am still struggling because I don't understand how to reconcile the fact that I like my doors opened for me and I like to be pampered sometimes. I am in not a "needy" or "high maintenance" person but chivalry is nice. So how does one support an egalitarian view of women in the church and not support an entirely egalitarian view of women in relationships. I don't think it works like that. Something has gotta give and I'm not sure what...

Beyond just the women in church issue, there was a lot of wisdom I absorbed by simply listening to those women talk. Jamie said something interesting. she said, "It takes a little bit of time to learn to use your voice." I can relate to that completely. I'm actually at the stage right now and I feel like hearing someone else relate to that journey of finding voice in their spiritual journey and vocationally calling was refreshing and, quite simply, needed.

Historical Women

Last Thursday evening the five of us sat in a circle in front of the Coffin fireplace and shared the incredible stories of historical, amazing Christian women. I think what we need to ask ourselves as we absorb the stories of these women is "What can we learn?" Each story is unique and certainly has it's own lesson to share, but I think there is one underlying, incredible thing we can take from all of them and that is that they lived their lives as reflections of God's crazy redemption story. I talked about Corrie ten Boom and read the excerpt from The Hiding Place where she recounts a meeting she had with one of the former SS officers from the concentration camp she was at. Instead of allowing herself to feel hate, she forgives the man and her comment is that, "There is not pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still." That is an amazing testament not only to her life, but to God's story molding, guiding, and defining the life of an ordinary woman in incredible ways. Megan, Brady, Kim, and Sophia had similar stories to share and I enjoyed sitting, listening, and learning lessons from women much wiser than myself.

Dangerous LIving

This week was very interesting learning about women who have some kind of history within the church. Many of the women presented had hardships because of different things but prevailed and still made an impact on many lives even to this day despite all their struggles. Every person in our group did a great job of researching and finding information that was interesting about their specific person. I really enjoyed hearing the stories of the women who have gone before us in difficult times and made an example for us to follow. I left our meeting inspired and thankful. Inspired because these women were living in hard times and still made an impact. Also, knowing that other people, women especially, have made a difference in many people's lives makes me realize that my life does count, and that I can make a difference too. I was thankful after learning about their conditions of laws, cultures, and families that my situation is so much easier than theirs. Now days it is so much easier to be a christian and a women than it was during the lives of these women. It is still a struggle to live for Christ no matter what year you are in but we have the help of strong Christ-centered communities to grow in then to leave and impact the world outside of those communities. But it is so much easier knowing that you have a strong group of people at home to go back to that are praying you through all your hard situations and that want to see you succeed. Many of the women we learned about didn't have support systems like these and I feel so blessed to have one to push me forward to live my life in a dangerous way that will impact many lives.

Hum de Dum

Not to be Debby-Downer (or Peter-Pouter), but I write this blog with not as much as excitement as I have had in past blogs. I don't mean to imply that the subject matter is boring (how could I say reading the Bible and talking about women is boring, the only thing missing from the perfect combination is basketball. Oh, also peachwave) but I'm ready to discuss how to apply what we have learned to real life situations. I'm pretty convinced in one thing, that is God made Creation. God made it well and loving, loving back to God and loving to each other. God's Creation is this perfect combination of not needing any relationship, yet we aren't able to live without relationship. With that said, I fully believe God Created man and woman to compliment each other, not dominate over one another. Some things in this class have blown my mind, but everything has reinforced my beliefs. I'm ready to move those beliefs into action.
Women in the Church is too broad of question. The Church consists of a lot. For example, women in marriage? Women in teaching? Women in leading? Women in speaking? Women and responsibilities? Women and children? Women and work? I'm ready to take the Book and give it legs, arms, hands and a nose. Yes, a nose.

Where is the answer?

Upon leaving class this week I was filled with more questions, not the usual questions of what makes people believe egalitarianism but about what should I believe. This class has began a big line of questioning for me and what my beliefs are. There has never been a question about women in the church growing up and to suddenly be thrown this huge question it is so overwhelming but great at the same time. I love that through this questioning I can become closer to God and learn so much by researching into what the Bible is truly saying in some passages and looking at different perspectives than those of what I have grown up with. It brings in some doubt which I believe doubt is healthy it makes you look at what you are actually believing and doesn't let you sit in one position without knowing why you are staying with what you are believing. So, after class this week my main question that has been frustrating me to think about is how can we really know which side is pulling true facts from the Bible. There are many translations of the Bible than when each person reads it they gather their own perspective of what they think it is saying to them. So it puzzles me to try to understand what I am supposed to believe or how I can fully commit to either without having done the research myself which is not possible since I don't know Greek. This leaves me still questioning and the only answer that I can come up with is that there is no right answer. Who really know the heart of God and what he is trying to say through the scriptures? No one does! This includes me, and I am finding out as we progress through this class that I will never truly know everything there is to about our amazing creator but the important thing is to never stop trying to understand more. We are supposed to keep on the race and run towards God and try to know Him better everyday. So my answer to my question is to just keep diving in and questioning knowing that I may never find the answer that is 100% correct but understanding that it is okay as long as I continue to push forward towards the answer.

Authority Vs. Origin

At the beginning of this weeks class session I felt tense about the passage we were discussing. Typically I do not like to change how I think about something after I have already become confident in what I believe, but I was able to stretch myself and embrace different perspectives. Specifically I thought a lot about how we discussed the difference between authority and origin. In the passage we read it talked about the husband having authority over the wife just as God has authority over Christ and Christ has authority over the church. Sarah explained that this passage could also be understood in terms of origin. The husband is the origin of the wife just as God is the origin of Christ and Christ is the origin of the church. There is a significant difference betweens these two views on this passage. Neither will dramatically change your life or relationship with God but the distinction can change your theology. Where someone finds himself or herself on this issue is not as important as staying consistent with your beliefs. Whether you find yourself aligning with the authority theology over origin, your choice becomes a commitment to remain consistent throughout the rest of your study in the Bible.

Just My Thoughts

Tonight brought up a whole lot of thoughts, some of which are connected and some of which are not. First of all, we've been talking about what the role of women in the church should be for the past seven weeks and for the most part, one point of view has been discussed. And the more we talk about the egalitarian view, the more it makes sense to me in the scholarly sense. But the more it makes sense the more I dig in my heels because the fact of the matter is that I'm not really comfortable on a practical level with women preaching. But even that practical discomfort brings up questions because I'm comfortable with Sarah and other women speakers in chapel...but chapel doesn't feel like church to me...but where you preach doesn't really matter....does it?

That's the kind of confusing thought process that I'm trying to straighten out in my head right now. And then there's the question that was brought up tonight about whether or not the role of women is essential doctrine. I'm going to say "no" on that one - that trying to call it essential doctrine speaks too much to an agenda, that if we try to call this essential doctrine we could, hypothetically, call almost anything essential doctrine. And finally there's my thoughts about the class as a whole. When I signed up for "women in the bible" I was thinking we would study the stories of biblical women and then draw interpretations from them, asking that essential question, "What is the Main Thing the passage is teaching?" Instead, we started with a very clear agenda and then looked at scripture with the lenses of that egalitarian agenda.

Where's the other side?

After this week's class I was really wanting to hear the other side to the argument that Sarah had presented. Our guest speaker shared with us her interpretations of the 1 Timothy passage and had everything laid out with the Greek translations. She had a great and developed argument for her side but my question is if her side is so strong how can there be another side of it? I understand that there are two sides to an argument always but am at a loss for what it is in this situation. I also believe that it is important to know the other side in order to defend or keep your own opinion in the first place because if you don't know about it how can you know it is wrong? So I am now very curious to hear the other side and what she would say to someone who thinks that way, opposing to her views.
Another piece that I really struggled with this week was biblical interpretations. Each time someone reads the Bible they understand it differently from the other person who reads it also. But my question is when do we doubt the scripture and when do we take it for what it says. I feel really scared when people begin to take apart the Bible and question it's authority. For me personally I believe 100% that the Bible has been divinely inspired and yes it did come through the vessel of man but God gave the words to man. I am very weery of this idea that we can just say that something in the Bible was merely interpreted wrong or no longer applicable to our lives because the Bible in itself is essentially the road map that we need to know where God wants us to go in our lives. Of course there is no exact passage telling you what to do but the Holy Spirit will speak to you through the scripture you are reading, to me this is just such an important part of my faith that it seems so worrying to me to begin to take it apart and analyze it's authoritativeness. My question I am still left with is: when do we know when to doubt the scriptures and when do we know to trust it for what it is saying? If you begin to pull it apart and take things away as not true then when does it stop? How can we so long after truly know what is supposed to be there and not, I think it is through faith that we believe God will use the Bible to speak into our lives even if it is not 100% the way he initially wanted it to be. I mean look at us we are sinners who God created to be perfect in the beginning but chose not to be yet He still uses us. That shows me that there is hope in this life for all things we just need to have faith that God will come through and help us wade through the mud to understand what is truly important to our lives today.

Dumb English

I really enjoyed hearing the word translations of our guest speaker in class as she addressed the issue of 1 Timothy. I found it extremely insightful and eye opening to understand what those English words were really meant to mean in their original language. As the author described how men were oppressing women during the time, the author also mentioned how women at times became oppressive of men in certain situations, like the Temple of Diana. It creates a sense of equality between the two genders, as if to say 'listen people, perhaps both of us aren't perfect, yet we need each other.' What I also learned that was amazing to me was the concept that what the author really meant by being quiet and submission was actually granting women a place of honor to learn. It was an honor to sit at a person's feet to learn from them, as you remained quiet. For the author to tell the receptionist of this letter to allow a woman to do that must of been a tad radical! And then, once the person, male or female, had been prepared enough in their relationship with Christ, they were allowed to go out and preach, what a great thing!

What does this mean for our Church now? I think it is obvious what this means, but my question is really why has the translation of 1 Timothy 2 been ignored by so many? When I say many, I'm really thinking of every man I have learned Scripture from. Actually, why stop at men, women also haven't taught me this. If we take Paul's words so literally all the time, some might ask even more than Jesus', why don't we know the real meaning behind these words?

3 Key Misunderstandings

This week’s class session was really intriguing. When we first began talking about women’s roles in the church I always thought of passages like 1 Timothy 2:11-12 and wondered how our society could act out anything contrary to what was stated in this passage. It seemed crystal clear where women fit within the church and arguing against it did not seem right. However our guest speaker brought a new perspective to be considered. She spoke about her “napkin theology” and how understanding this passage is simple when going about it the right way. As a Greek student she has been able to study the language and the deeper meaning behind passages like 1 Timothy 2:11-12 that give us problems as believers and as a society seeking equal rights for both men and women. She pointed out three key misunderstandings about this particular passage and revealed an alternative meaning:

1. When it says, “let them learn,” it is an imperative phrase that is giving women a right they never had before.

2. When it says women are not to have authority over men it is referring to a murderous kind of authority that had been practiced by women in the pagan temple of Diana.

3. When it says, “I do not permit women to teach,” it is referring to that specific moment and not all time.

Overall, hearing her perspective gave me a new understanding of this passage and made me consider that others like it could be saying something deeper than what I am able to understand on my own.

Questions behind questions or something like that...

It felt good to sit and absorb what Sara had to share this evening. I realized about half way through her talk that I would regret it if I didn't start taking notes, but I was so engaged with what she was saying that the thought hadn't crossed my mind up to that point :) It felt good to break down scripture into the original language, discuss the historical/social context of the passage and then interpret it from there. My dad is a pastor and he knows hebrew, greek, and latin so when he preaches, that's exactly what he does. He breaks it down into all the pieces (grammatically, contextually, etc.) and then builds the passage back up. I think that there is definitely something to be said about that process...perhaps we should do a little more of it.

That being said, it leaves those of us without hebrew, greek, and latin language knowledge in a bind. If we don't have the skills to break down every troublesome passage we come to, what are we to do? The "community" answer (it's so Fox, isn't it...also true, but so George Fox) is great but it doesn't really answer questions or solve problems. Even within a community is it probable that nobody knows Greek or Hebrew. Furthermore, there is a question of which passages need to be taken apart to be understood correctly and which don't. Again, unless you have been educated to do discern explicitly that, making those decisions seems daunting. Tonight brought up more, new questions that are difficult to unravel.

Last week in class we discussed textual criticism but the thing that stuck with me was the question Sarah left us with; "Are you following Christianity (the form) of Christ the Messiah?" This is a very cutting question. I believe that many times we loose sight of what we are living for and why we are here. Many churches enforce rules and regulations of what it looks like for people to be Christian. But is it the rules of man that we should be following and abiding by or the desire of our Savior? My hope for us would be that we wouldn't worry about the rules of the world but that we would strive to follow the path that Christ has set before us. Even though it may be difficult at times in the end it will be worth the fight that we have put forth and we will be rewarded for our hardships that we have felt throughout our lives here on earth. That for me is a hope that makes me strive to live for Christ and not for the rules that man has created for what it looks like to be a part of Christianity.

Bone in our Back

The metanarrative of the Bible involves God redeemed the people of earth, starting with the worst possible outcome sin and then leading to Jesus in the New Testament. As we learned two weeks ago, the starting block of human history when it came to men and women involved women being oppressed by God's chosen people (and everyone else, just wanted to point out the irony). This week highlighted the redemptive qualities of Jesus, coming to radically challenge the views of the people of the time. He began the process of helping to stop the oppression of women by granting women with extreme honor and responsibility. I'm specifically thinking of the time Jesus was raised from the dead and He granted the honor and responsibility of telling the world He had risen to a group of women. Before Jesus women would be used for their body, now Jesus had them be the first evangelicals. How amazing! Throughout the New Testament, stories of women washing Jesus' feet, sitting at His feet listening, following Him wherever He went, show that it is possible for women to love Jesus just as much/if not more than men. I don't mean to overemphasize women over men, more trying to show how God made human's hearts the same, not separate based on gender. And I'm a pretty strong believer in the fact that God cares about a humans heart, not their actions or capabilities, so why should I separate on my beliefs about differences in gender? (Because I do believer there are differences in gender from a psychological perspective).

On a slightly different note. We talked about dating on Monday. I know for me I am not attracted to women who sit back and wait for their prince charming to sweep them off their feet. For one, I usually don't notice them, which means they have to flaunt themselves, which then turns me off. It's a lose-lose situation for them. Second, I want a girl with a backbone. A secret that not many know is that a determining factor for me when it comes to deciding if I should pursue a relationship with a girl is if she has a backbone. I girl captivates me when she says 'no' to me, in a respectful way of course, but just knowing she can take care of her self is huge to me. I don't enjoy being with a follower, I enjoy being with a companion. Of course, there are a variety of other factors that I find attractive in girls, but just wanted to highlight this point.

In Hot Pursuit of Sleeping Beauty, but she's neither sleeping nor in her tower.

In our last class, we talked about men being the pursuers and women being responders. I am split about this. In society, women are taught this very thing, to wait for our knight in shining armor. All I've seen of girls trying to pursue guys instead of the other way around (I have had experiences with it) and it doesn't end well. I still have that problem. They find it annoying. And I'm not even dressing in a manner to seduce them, just trying too hard to pursue them.

But sometimes we girls just want our voices heard. God thinks we are worth pursuing, why can't guys? I know I come off annoying, but can't I pursue instead of just sitting idle-by and waiting? But, as EVERYONE tells me, you stop looking for it, you find it. To me that is hard. I'm not trying to annoy boys but I just am so split. I may like being lazy, but I am still full of energy too, and sitting by for a man might just kill me. But no! society says, "You're just bothering him. Sit in your tower and wait." I'm impatient. I know I should gain backbone and be ok with being single, but I've had low self-esteem pretty much my whole life. Knowing someone loves me for all I am is so great.

Isn't there guys who would love a girl despite the fact she doesn't see much in herself? God can do it why can't they? Human. Still in my tower, but I might find my own way out in time. Take that Prince Charming, you'll have to chase me down, because I'm worth it, and I won't keep waiting.

Understand the Old Testament

This weeks meeting really got me thinking about how I view the Bible. Specifically I wondered at the way I understand the Old Testament. Last week I asked the question, “why would God command the Israelites to kill tons of people and why would He create sexist laws? “ I came to the conclusion that sometimes God does things that we do not understand. I also mentioned that because of the fall, man had to rule over himself and in order for this to work God created a hierarchy. In class, Sarah gave another perspective that opened my eyes to a new way for reading the Old Testament. She talked about reading these passages in context. The Old Testament was written hundreds of years after the time that the events tool place by people who were not present at the time. Sarah noted that you have to look at the culture behind the writing. Some were big exaggerators; most were very family oriented with little regard to the self. She told us that the way these different cultures viewed God could have been a determining factor in the way they wrote about historical accounts in the Old Testament. Sarah ended by asserting that she believes scripture is authoritative but that there is a lot more to it than simply reading it at surface value. I really appreciated her understanding and I think it has began to change and shape the way that I think about the law and commands God made in the Old Testament as well as many of the writings of Paul about different laws in the Church.

paradox

The most fascinating information we went over tonight, for me, was the role of women in the New Testament. I wish we hadn't have had to go over it so quickly. I love to compare what life was like then and what it's like now - about what Western culture was like compared to what African or Far Eastern culture was like at the same time. You can see, especially in the evangelical christian subculture, remnants of Greek, Roman, and Hebrew culture. For example, like Greek women, some public spheres are unavailable to women (perhaps this is disappearing slowly). Like Hebrew women, women today are in largely in charge of tending both male and female children. The bottom line is paradoxical: women have come so far socially (think, a woman ran for president of the United States, arguably the most powerful position in the world) and yet they have hardly come anywhere at all. It seems to be purely a matter of interpretation.

Something has been burning in the back of my mind since week one or two of class. You mentioned that this issue of women in the bible - the roles they were intended to have - define the type of relationship we have with Jesus. I have never felt before that my relationship with Jesus is defined by how I see the role of women being. As issues and scripture are discussed in class each week, that thought keeps resurfacing. Does how I feel about women in the bible define the type of relationship I have with Jesus? I don't know the answer and that bothers me.

This last class reinforced many of the questions I had already begun to formulate. Throughout our time together we looked up passages speaking of women’s roles in the Bible and the ways that Biblical men treated women. Men were worth more than women. Women were often treated like slaves and they had very little voice about anything in their lives. When God spoke the law to His people many of the things that were said appeared to be very demeaning to women. My immediate question was why, if God created men and women to be equal, did the laws He gave to instruct the people speak down to women? This went along with my other question about why God would command the Israelites to go and kill an entire people group taking all of their possessions. In both instances God commanded something that seems unjust. I asked Sarah what she thought and she said that it is possible that the people who wrote the Bible could have been writing it out of their own lenses and understanding. However, I did not feel contented. I would like to believe that God had the power to communicate through the people the exact message He wanted in the exact way he wanted. My understanding is that after the fall, man had to rule over himself. In order for this to work God established a hierarchy among men and women. When he spoke to them after the fall he was speaking to their situation; to the hierarchy he created because of the fall.

This last class reinforced many of the questions I had already begun to formulate. Throughout our time together we looked up passages speaking of women’s roles in the Bible and the ways that Biblical men treated women. Men were worth more than women. Women were often treated like slaves and they had very little voice about anything in their lives. When God spoke the law to His people many of the things that were said appeared to be very demeaning to women. My immediate question was why, if God created men and women to be equal, did the laws He gave to instruct the people speak down to women? This went along with my other question about why God would command the Israelites to go and kill an entire people group taking all of their possessions. In both instances God commanded something that seems unjust. I asked Sarah what she thought and she said that it is possible that the people who wrote the Bible could have been writing it out of their own lenses and understanding. However, I did not feel contented. I would like to believe that God had the power to communicate through the people the exact message He wanted in the exact way he wanted. My understanding is that after the fall, man had to rule over himself. In order for this to work God established a hierarchy among men and women. When he spoke to them after the fall he was speaking to their situation; to the hierarchy he created because of the fall.

Conditions

I am completly amazed with the conditions of women in the Old Testament. Having read the stories more than once I am sad with how common they have become to me. It is hard for me to realize that these were real people who really had to live through these hard times and struggle through these things. It only opened my eyes wider to listen to the list of horrible things done to women during these times. They were not even their own property, they could not make decisions for themsleves or for their children. Everything was left up to the man of the house who could do as he pleased with all his posessions including his wife,children,money,animals, and property. It amazes me that people can be clumped into a catagory filled with things like money, animals, and property possesions. It makes me think that they had no value at all to their husbands. This is such a different concept than what we see in our culture today. Women have rights and are able to make their own decisions everyday many times over. Men listen to the voices of their wives and consider their opinions when making decisions as well. Most decisions are made as a partnership the husband and his wife unlike the Old Testament times when the husband was making all the decisions based his beliefs alone.
After realizing that these struggles were made by real people I then think of those few women mentioned in the bible that stood up to the cultural powers of the time. They went against all the norms and mores in order to do what they needed to for themselves, their families and their people. I often ask myself the question that if I had been in their posisition would I have been strong enough to stand up tall in a world full of male dominance? Would I have enough faith that God would bring me through what he had planned for me in my life? These are questions I will never be able to answer, but it makes me see the blessings that are present in my life everyday. That I am able to have a voice and able to recieve an education things that weren't allowed for women who lived a hundred years ago. I am so thankful to have the privedleges I do today and that I am free to speak the truth in love to all those around me.

Old Testament

Honestly I've thought for a long part of my life I have wanted to be a girl. Let me explain. Walk in to downtown Seattle's H&M store and look at the store map. There you will see 4 floors full of clothing options women could choose. On that map you will also see one floor that lists men's clothing, which is also shared with little boys clothes. Men get about 5/8th of a floor to shop through. Women get 4 floors. I've been quite jealous of that my whole life, leading to my desire to be a girl. Besides that, they also get to watch 'chick flicks' whenever they want, drink nonfat lattes without being looked at oddly by the barista and are free to spend a day in a craft store without being made fun of.
As you might have noticed however, those are all material activities that don't penetrate the heart life any better than a dollar store steak knife. Learning how women were oppressed throughout history was an interesting as well as depressing experience. I use the word interesting to point out that the time in human history was when God (as from what I can tell reading in Scripture) was so close to humanity that He at times would literally talk to them (I could have my understanding of Scripture wrong, but I'm referring to times when God would meet the Founding Fathers and Scripture says they had conversations). But during that time, women were oppressed. God's creation wasn't fully loving one another. How that must of broke God's heart, yet God didn't punish the men, why I don't know.
Perhaps because it stems back to the Fall and the lengthy process of redemption that humanity had to go through. Whatever God's reasoning, there were still sights of love throughout the Old Testament, which was encouraging to learn. I'm still left pondering why certain women were treated with a bit more respect than others (why for instance does Esther elevate to a respected Queen status in Scripture, but little mention of other Queens?). Reading through Luke I noticed so many times when Jesus referred to loving women and respecting them as people, as equals.
I can't wait until we can start applying what we have learned throughout the Old Testament and Scripture into our modern day life. There are so many questions that I am curious about what Jesus would say about our culture now and what each of us would say.

Women in the OT

If you looked at the many things about women we did, you might think oh wow! Terrible! Sarah was right, I'm glad I live in this day and age where women get more respect and are more than property. But what I wonder was did God really want us to be property back then? But then again if it was such a big deal to God, maybe the laws would be different?

Another thing we talked about is the standout women who fought for their rights. Pretty much all of them used their "feminine charm" and bodies to do so. While it was awesome they had the courage to do that, I feel that the methods were not that great. True they had courage, but does it always have to be beauty that speaks to people or can it not be heart? I do admire Abigail, because she just had a heart for the Lord. She was probably the only one (possibly) besides Vashti who didn't use her body or sex to show great favor in God's eyes, and to be an standout.

Are we still property? I feel like society makes us either feel like or not feel like property. I see both in the media. But will we ever fully get rights? I hope we reflect more on this soon!