Marriage Night

I feel like I am finally beginning to grapple with what I think about complementarian vs. egalitarian relationship and marriage. I'm beginning to separate preference from actual belief. These are big issues and tough issues to deal with because people feel so emotionally attached to them and there has been a sense this entire semester that both sides are desperate for the other side to agree with them - so much so that the issue is no longer a matter of living out the gospel, but an issue of personal satisfaction and gratification (wanting the other side to admit that they are wrong). And frankly, that turns me off.

Let me expound on that a little more. Tonight when we talked about whether or not the complementarian vs. egalitarian issue was an "all or nothing" issue or whether it was an issue on a continuum. There are very few things in life that are all or nothing. And even fewer things that deal with sinful, fallen human beings are all or nothing. We are much more complicated than that - life is full of complexity and nuance, and how we approach relationship and marriage is part of that. To say that we are either completely egalitarian or completely complementarian doesn't allow room for growth or development. Ironically, it puts people (usually the people who are irate over being put in a box) into boxes. We are doing ourselves a disservice if we make the issue black and white.