It's a Journey...

I talked to my Oma (dutch for Grandma) today about her spiritual journey and I was so glad that I did :) She grew up in the worst part of Seattle in a horrible house with a mother who pretended she wasn't there...except when she needed chores done or a babysitter. Her first experience with Jesus was as a preschooler. She was riding her tricycle on the sidewalk outside the apartment building when the pastor of the missions church that met downstairs invited her to Sunday School. She accepted and attended off and on for years. As a teenager, God brought a Christian family into her life that paid for her to go to a Christian school for a year and in eighth grade she dedicated her life to Jesus. The Orthodox Presbyterian church she attended disbanded but the pastor recommended she try the Christian Reformed church because it was the most doctrinally similar. So she did and met my Opa (dutch for Grandpa) in the process. A bonus of marrying my Opa was his wonderful family and the first real "mom" she'd ever had. Her first "milestone" was when her mother-in-law died. She'd been an amazing spiritual mentor to Oma. The second "milestone" came shortly after (and wouldn't have happened had great-grandma not died) when Oma and Opa packed up their three little boys (all 6 and under) and move across the country to New York. For the first time they had to find their own church, make their own friends, and figure out their family faith on their own.

My Oma lives by a simple motto: J-O-Y. Jesus, others, yourself. I've always known it because she really does live it. She and Opa have it down - if you come to family dinner, there are always widows and orphans and the door is always open. Oma said that,at this point in her walk, she feels confident that Jesus comes first (not that's she's perfect, but that He is routinely the first priority). And now the hard part is putting others in front of herself - especially when it involves giving up family opportunities to serve somewhere else.

My Oma is extremely reformed and extremely conservative. Our denomination has a very open attitude towards women in leadership - women can be pastors. Oma thinks they are too lenient. She thinks that men and women are equal in God's eyes - that he loves us the same and salvation is the same for both - but she does believe we have been created for different (not better or worse or less or more) roles. She does concede that she's not sure where the line should be drawn for women in leadership and she understands the role that the Fall played in the flawed gender relationships. When I asked her about her image of God, she said he was definitely a man. This was her response, "When I pray the Lord's prayer and I pray 'My Father who art in Heaven...' I am praying to a He...not a unisex spirit." And while I think she may have been a little sassy, she's got a point. I've certainly always thought of God as a man and it's never felt like a hindrance to my spiritual life, but that's also the culture in which I've been raised. It is hard for Oma to reconcile a relational headship (in which she firmly believes) with women in leadership roles in the church. She views the church as Christ's bride in the most traditional way. In her family the "Buck Stops Here" role is absolutely Opa's - and that's biblical. She think that women in leadership take away jobs that men need to do - we step in and take control way more often than we should.

Coming from a very successful woman (she has a graduate degree and has been a principal, school district superintendent, and had various other administrative roles), I have to stop and consider what she says. When I asked Oma if she'd ever felt limited in her church experience she laughed and said, "No! I've always felt that I've been allowed to do too much!"